Couch Tarts Draft Coverage

I'll be honest with you folks: I am not really excited about the draft. For one thing, the Sharks don't have a pick until the 4th round (unless something crazy happens). Plus, most of these guys won't make a major impact for a while. Like a long while. I will certainly watch the draft and semi-live blog my ideas. But honestly I am more looking forward to July 1st and free agency.

4.05 PM
Looks like the Ducks and King made a trade along with Calgary. Mike Cammalleri gets sent to Calgary and LA and Anaheim get some mid to late 1st round picks. Plus I'm hearing that Alex Tanguay is going to Montreal for their pick. Curious, curious. Plus I think I heard some booing. Bettman must be around somewhere.

4.10
They tried to have Blonde Reporter lady (I'm sure she has a name. I just don't care) talk to Steven Stamkos but the mic didn't work. I love unintentional comedy.

4.17
Bettman opens with "Hello Ottawa. I love your passion.
Ottawa opens with "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Bettman know how much he's hated and seems to revel in it. What more could you want in a villian.

4.19
Trade time again. Oli Jokinen went to Phoenix for Keith Ballard, a pick, and Nick Boynton. I am so slow remembering this. God help you if you're coming here for news.

4.21
The worst kept draft secret was just revealed. After a bunch of blah, blah, Steven Stamkos was selected as the first pick. And to you sir goes a sexy Lighting Jersey and a pretty hat. Congrats to you.

4.26
Fantastic. The Kings have 9 picks before the Sharks have one. Or the Pens. Love it.

4.29
Drew Doughty goes #2 with one of the Kings 9 million picks. Congrats LA, you have another hot young player on your team.

4.41
Zach Bogosian goes #3 to Atlanta. I love that the talking heads a criticizing Atlanta for a bad trade instead of talking about the pick. Seems like a good kid. I kinda wish the Sharks had had one of these picks to be able to get one of those defensemen.

Trade Time! This is the Tanguay trade I had heard about. Some picks tossed in there most notably Montreal's 1st round pick. I bet Bettman loves announcing trades cause it's probably the only time he'll get cheers.

4.49
Alex Pietrangelo goes #4 to St. Louis and is seriously the first guy I've seen to look really excited. Chris Pronger without the edge? Without the meanness? Just what St. Louis needs. Congrats to the Ontario Hockey League for having the first 4 picks. This kid is funny. He bought stuff from the Steven Stamkos website. Good comedy.

4.54
Picks #5 and #7 appear to be traded between the Islanders and the Leafs. The Leafs must be hard up for whoever they want. And the Leafs included a 2nd and a 3rd pick that are conditional.

5.02
And announcer man-crush Luck Schenn goes to Toronto at #5. The Ottawa fans seem to love him. I loved watching his film and seeing him beat the crap out of other players. Man I wish the Sharks had one of these picks.

5.08
TRADE! Columbus trades #19 and a 3rd rounder for RJ Umberger and a 4th rounder. My heart stopped for a moment with concern given the talk about trading any number of Sharks to Columbus. I'm still a little nervous.

5.11
Nikita Filatov goes at #6 and again looks super excited. Shame he kinda looks like a girl. I love the whole "Russian factor" and HWFO of how he might leave in a year or two. Bah. Kid looks stoked to be there.

5.21
Islanders moving around to get more picks trade #7 to Nashville for #9 and #40. And Nashville picks Colin Wilson, who is apparently a "man amongst boys." The Islanders seem to be following the 49ers philosophy of drafting which is "We have so many holes we need 1 million players so lets get 1 million picks." Good luck with that.

5.26
Gretsky gets some nice pop when he comes to announce Phoenix's pick at #8. I feel bad for the guy cause it must be rough to coach in Phoenix. Mikkel Boedker goes at this pick. Looks a little cocky to me but what do I know? Enjoy the heat kid.

5.32
Holy crap! The Islanders are finally picking. They chose Josh Bailey, who I guess was expected to be a pick around here which would make trading the picks make a whole lot of sense. I love how clean cut these boys all look. It's a different scene than the NFL draft. Other than the whole everyone is white thing.

5.39
Vancouver is up. Last time they picked #10 they picked Luc Bourdon. I think it's a classy touch for them to all wear guitar pins on their lapels and to give a shout-out to his family. Classy Vancouver. They pick Cody Hodgson who is apparently a character guy and a slower version of Steven Stamkos. Not bad.

5.44
The interviews with the players are much shorter now than they were. I love the "What are you going to do to help the team win?" question because it is breathtakingly dumb. Hodgson had the best response which is "I need to make the team first." Of course the best question of the night was "Was Sydney Crosby your hero growing up?" Awesome.

5.46
Chicago takes Kyle Beach at #11 right after they have an interview with him asking him about whether he was going to drop a lot based on a bad reputation. He plays like Shananhan but acts like Avery. Uh oh. One story goes he called a guy with a birth defect spine curvature a "hunchback." From what they are saying, he doesn't fit the true agitator model of being annoying if you play against him and awesome if you play with him. He just sounds like a troubled kid who needs to get his ass kicked into gear. Not sure if Chicago can do that with all their young players, but good luck.

5.54
Trade! Buffalo moves up one spot in exchange for a 3rd rounder next year with LA. And Buffalo takes a strong defenseman in Tyler Myers. I love that he got into his first fight this year. And that he's 6'7". Holy Crap.

5.59
LA comes up to make a pick at #13 to pick Colten Teubert from the Regina Pats. I love hearing people say Regina cause I am 4 years old (rhymes with.....hee).

As an aside, I've noticed that the teams have been saying hello to fans at draft day parties. Then I realized that the Sharks don't appear to be having one, which makes me feel a little bit better about whether some guys will get traded for picks.

6.05
Zach Boychuk goes to Carolina in a pick that didn't move. At this point you almost expect trades to be made for every pick. There is a nice point being made about shorter and smaller players being able to play in the NHL. I still don't think I have a chance.

6.12
TRADE! Nashville trades their pick at #15 to Ottawa for their pick and a 3rd rounder in '09. And the crowd goes wild. Daniel Alfredsson makes the pick for Ottawa. Such a bunch of applause whores. Heh. And they pick a Swede Erik Karlsson. Swede picks Swede. Even though he's going to stay in Sweden next year. Eh.

6.20
I didn't realize the lisp that Brian Murray had. Oh goodie, more to make fun of. Boston's turn. They take Joe Colborne who is apparently the son of a rich gas company man. Looks like he's going to be at Denver next year. I love the comparison to Joe Thornton in mannerisms and size. I wonder if he shares the same supposed extracurricular activities as Joe. *sigh*

6.29
Anaheim comes to pick and they take a high school kid, Jake Gardiner. It's at times like this when I am bored that I wonder what Doug Wilson is doing. Is he alseep? Is he watching old Family Guy episodes on his iPod? What do you do when you are making no picks until the 4th round? I wish I could find out.

6.36
Must resist desire to sleep. Nashville takes Chet Pickard. I just can't imagine sitting around and waiting to be picked. As a fan of a team with no picks today, the day started out promising with lots of trades and stuff. But this is a good pick especially since they traded away Chris Mason away today. Not that I want them to do well or anything but this is a smart pick.

6.41
Philly is up and after kissing some Ottawa ass, they pick a Swiss Luca Sbisa. At this point my spell check quits and goes home.

6.46
I love that people in Ottawa paid for free tickets to the Draft. That is dedication. I even heard people started paying before the free ones had been completely given out. The Rangers are up. Blah, blah, Ottawa, blah, blah, Redwings. And they pick the guy they were talking about having dropped, Michael Del Zotto. These guys are like the magic cure for not getting picked. As soon as they talk about someone falling on the draft list, they get picked. Good for you Versus.

6.52
Poor Michael Del Zotto. They showed a picture of him in youth hockey with Alex Pietrangelo and Steven Stamkos. How does it feel to be the loser of the bunch??!!?? Good for you Versus. New Jersey trades picks to Washington for a later 1st round and 54 or so. I'm starting to black out every time that Bettman talks. That isn't a good sign.

6.54
Washington comes to pick. They take Anton Gustafsson. What is with the Swedes and all the ss's. Sounds like he was a reach with an issue with his health. His dad played back when the Cap's logo was an original and not a throwback.

As it approaches 7 pm, I wonder if they'll cut into coverage to show Bloodsport. No one wants to miss a good Van Damme flick. I can imagine someone tuning into Versus now and being disappointed to see the hockey draft. They might go all Van Damme on their couch. Hehe. I'm making my own fun here.

7.00
Glen Anderson pays tribute to Lorne Davis. It's a little long but very sweet and teary. Regina! Hee. Jordan Eberle goes to Edmonton. Sorry kid. I'm more sorry about the dye job on his sister's emo sweep hair. It's not his fault I hate Edmonton but I just am having a hard time caring about them and their pick. I'm happy for him like I am for all the other kids who get picked and are infinitely more talented than I am. But seriously, that hair!

7.08
TRADE! New Jersey swaps picks with Minnesota and gets a 3rd rounder for next year. What is it with the 3rd round for next year. Meh. Minnesota is on the clock.

7.11
New Jersey is playing draft Frogger. Well played guys. Minnesota comes up, kisses fan and Detroit ass (I am getting so sick of this. Makes me glad that the NFL commissioner makes all the picks in that draft.) and picks Tyler Cuma who has apparently dropped in draft position. Really I think the draft rankings are crap cause all that matters is what the teams think of the guys. But then again I'm not making a living predicting the draft.

Cuma is apparently good at remembering people's names which the announcer tells me means he has good attention to detail and a desire to be a leader. Whatever. I think he just has a good memory.

7.17
The Devils FINALLY pick Mattias Tedenby. I know he's Swedish cause of the sexy yellow uniform (seriously those uniforms are fantastic. Probably the only international jersey I would buy.) He's also one of the few guys I have seen that holds up his jersey to display his name on it before putting it on. Thanks Mattias for giving me a chance to make sure I spelled your name right. Oh yea, he's supposed to be fast. *shrug*

7.23
Calgary comes up to make their pick and pick Greg Nemisz from the Windsor Spitfires. It was nice of them to honor Mickey Renaud who was a draft pick of theirs last year who died suddenly in February. ESPN has a nice article on him which made me a little teary eyed. Good thing I saw Darryl Sutter to get me out of it. Just looking at him makes me irrationally angry. I have a cold, bitter spot in my heart for guys who leave the Sharks after doing poorly and go on to do very well (there's a place for you there too Kiprusoff).

7.28
With the pick that should have belonged to the Sharks (I swear if you don't sign for a reasonable contract Brian Campbell, I will booo you till I die....or not), Buffalo picks Tyler Ennis, which is creepy cause I didn't know I had family in Canada. I now have reasons to make Buffalo my Eastern Conference team with Steve Bernier and my brother Tyler.

7.37
The Flyers sends their pick for Steve Eminger and the 84th pick. Washington pick John Carlson and honestly at this point I'm entertaining myself by reading other live blogs. Check out Mr. Plank of We Bleed Teal and Jess's Friday Night NHL First Round Entry Draftstravaganza 2008. Good stuff gentlemen.

TRADE! Anaheim trades their pick to Phoenix for 2 early 2nd round spots. I love the comment that some guy is "California like Arnold Schwarzenegger." Hee.

7.43
Phoenix comes up to make their pick and they take Viktor Tikhonov, whose dad worked for the Sharks and grew up in California. They keep talking about how connected he is to the Sharks and how his grandfather was a big deal Russian player. Seriously, this is the most they've talked about the Sharks all day. Kinda makes me sad.

7.49
Daultan Leveille goes to Atlanta in the pick that was part of the Hossa trade. He sounds like a project player who needs lots of time in college to get better. But I always find it weird that you make that kind of pick at #29 but it's not my call.

The unintentional comedy of this pick comes when Daultan's girlfriend was taking picture for like 5 min while she was on camera the guy she was sitting sit kept trying to get her to notice that they were on the big screen. Comedy gold.

7.52
And the last pick goes to Detroit. I half expected them to congratulate themselves based on what everyone else has done. Stevie Y gets a big pop as the local boy and announces the pick of goalie Tom McCollum. Sounds like a solid pick. There is a general tongue bath for Detroit.

And it is mercifully over. No Sharks moves which wasn't completely surprising. Good news is that I entertained myself here and got to know a little more about some of the younger guys who are making their way into the league. And in then end, isn't it all about learning. As long as we have all grown as people today, it is all worth it.

And now to what we all came to Versus for: the Jean Claude Van Damme classic Bloodsport!!! (Dude! I didn't know Forest Whitaker was in this. Man, I feel bad for him.)